Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
