he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
