I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
