woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
