i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
