he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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