It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
