I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
