omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
