i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
