ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
