I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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