Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
