pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
