she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
