Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
please come you make the beer taste better
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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