I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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