I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
