chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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