So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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