also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
