So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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