I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
