I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
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