So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
