ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Randomize
