when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
