He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Holy shit dude........stairs
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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