I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Are we in a gay sports bar?
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
