I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
