I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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