I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
