Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
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