i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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