Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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