lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I need help removing her.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
