Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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