I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
