I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
