my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
