Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
