I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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