Dual....:-)
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
