drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I've blown a few things in my day
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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