I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
