3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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