do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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