Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
