with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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