I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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