Me. At least after what I've been through.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
